wishing you good things only

reading 10

still at it...

Merry Christmas

Christmas miracles do happen - last night I dreamed of the one and only dog of my life, Gypsy (dachshund mixed with who knows what). I got her from the shelter, Christmas '96, and she stayed for 12 years. I cannot adequately communicate how much I miss this dog.

smoon 4 p.m.

a melancholic's disneyland

phew!

(irony) I put up my happy merry seasonal deco. I'm exhausted. (/irony)

heck yes, you should!

my sunsets are reflected

spotlight

I will kill all indoor plants eventually (weirdly, everything I ever planted in the two gardens I owned, flourished), except Christmas cacti (cactuses?). Go figure.

october luxury

reading 9

drawings, paintings

mornings
ink on Canson XL Dessin Noir 150 gsm/92 lb drawing paper, 14 x 28 cm / ~ 5,5 x 8,3"

"Not red," Mother said.
watercolor, watercolor pencil, graphite pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

"So strange," they thought.
watercolor, watercolor pencil, graphite pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

So many
watercolor, watercolor pencil, graphite pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

Joy
watercolor, watercolor pencil, graphite pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

October Sitter
watercolor, colored pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

Companions
watercolor, colored pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lb Fabriano Artistico hot pressed watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

Stained
watercolor, colored pencil, ink on 640 gsm Khadi paper, 10.5 x 14.8 cm /~ 4.1 x 5.8"

"f*** it", I thought

Fell asleep from exhaustion, reading, at 9:30 p.m., slept 3 hours, tossed and turned for 1, insert title here, got up. Painting at 2 a.m.

drawings, paintings

impact aftermath
watercolor, ink, charcoal on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 6 x 9"/~ 15 x 23 cm

you weren't promised Rochester
water soluble marker on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 6 x 9"/~ 15 x 23 cm

stripes
ink on Canson XL Dessin Noir 150 gsm/92 lb drawing paper, 14 x 28 cm / ~ 5,5 x 8,3"

a fine line

reading 8

little paintings/drawings

hyenas like pretty
watercolor, graphite, ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

the little town that grew
watercolor, ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

you took me to the water
watercolor, ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 9.5 x 14 cm/~ 3.75 x 5.5"

A.K.

Her hand touched me at the wrist.
"If I gave you my life, you would drop it. Wouldn't you?"
I didn't say anything.

-- Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient

eyes open, mouth closed, repeat

watercolor and ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 6 x 9"/~ 15 x 23 cm

Erinnerung für Zeiten wenn der totale Absturz droht

Lies Kapitel 13 in Terézia Moras "Das Ungeheuer". Es wird dich erneut retten.
Und versuche, so gut du kannst, nicht auf die Stimmen in deinem Kopf zu hören.

Niemandskind

watercolor on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico, rough grain), 7,5 x 11" / 17,8 x 28 cm

desert mood

Almásy
watercolor and ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 6 x 9"/~ 15 x 23 cm

swimmer and saffron
watercolor on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico, rough grain), 7,5 x 11" / 17,8 x 28 cm

And once more I chose to torture myself. I cannot count how often I watched "The English Patient" in the last 19 years. Which is dangerous for someone who is melancholic on good days. But since I'm also a hopeless romantic, I need to watch a film like this from time to time. I just need to be extremely careful in handling myself afterwards. This might sound funny to someone who doesn't know depression (and let me say I'm *happy* for everyone who doesn't know), but I need to catch myself quickly, should I notice the all too familiar downward spiral. Still, I need the torture from time to time, this film, to me, is worth the danger. Almásy talking to Katharine about different winds during the sandstorm in the car, touching her hair for the first time is all it needs to bring me to my knees. Especially knowing so well what is to come.

29 faces - 29 of 29

29 faces challenge 
29 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 28 of 29

29 faces challenge 
28 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 27 of 29

29 faces challenge 
27 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 26 of 29

29 faces challenge 
26 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 25 of 29

29 faces challenge 
25 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

of stone

watercolor on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico, cold pressed), 7,5 x 11" / 17,8 x 28 cm

29 faces - 24 of 29

29 faces challenge 
24 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 23 of 29

29 faces challenge 
23 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 22 of 29

29 faces challenge 
22 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

my day without color

29 faces - 21 of 29

29 faces challenge 
21 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

3 little paintings

this is what is left
watercolor, colored pencil, ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico hot pressed), 14 x 19 cm /~ 5,5 x 7,5"

a little nightmare
watercolor and ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico hot pressed), 14 x 19 cm /~ 5,5 x 7,5"

is this enough for a life?
watercolor and ink on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper (Fabriano Artistico hot pressed), 14 x 19 cm /~ 5,5 x 7,5"

reading 7

29 faces - 20 of 29

29 faces challenge 
20 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

29 faces - 19 of 29

29 faces challenge 
19 of 29: watercolor and graphite pencil on 300 g/140 lbs watercolor paper, 12,5 x 16 cm/~ 5 x 6,3"

infuse life