Saturday, November 29, 2014

vienna calling

Long time no write. Much has happened. I'm freshly single, mainly because of the realities of the stroke and me being introverted and hermit like. What can I say, I get energy from being home a lot, being around people wears me totally out and drains all the energy out of me. Even more so since the stroke. So sue me if you can't understand that (and believe me, many, *many* people don't). I'm heartbroken, as I was naive and romantic enough to believe in love yet *again*, even after a divorce in May '12. Live and learn, right? I so desperately hope that I have learned my lesson this time. And no, self pity doesn't live here, just a cold, cold heart.

There's always an upside, right? With the walking/dizziness/fatigue problems (among others, those are just the main ones), I needed to get back to Vienna.........I moved away with husband number 1 13 years ago on December 1. And for 13 years this city girl wanted to get back to the city. Now I had to. Terrific public transportation being the main reason. After searching for 3 weeks, I got lucky. After 3 more weeks, yesterday, my hero-brother showed up with one of his good friends and two big cars, and after 2 trips my belongings were moved. One trip to Ikea yesterday evening, and I have most of what I need for now. Monday is the official move in date, and until then I can stay with my brother and SIL.

And now I'm scared that I won't make it, neither financially nor otherwise. I'll give it a good try though. But I'm scared.....and did I mention cold and heartbroken? No sympathy needed though, seriously. I'm just your basic introverted freak with a *really* good hand at picking and falling in love with the wrong guys. Anyway, that was it for me anyway, being 50, stroke 2 years ago, that doesn't make good "find-a-mate-material".

And here it is, the first Vienna photo.


6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear of your disappointment, but perhaps in the long run it was a good trade - getting back to the city and perhaps more chances to get outside a bit (on your own terms - I understand that completely as a fellow introvert tired person - but even we need visual stimulation sometimes). And maybe closer to your family? I hope it works out financially too. Don't let the fear eat you up, it's the #1 energy killer. (why do you think I'm always tired, LOL) Sending you heart warming thoughts.

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    1. Thank you for your kind thoughts, Pia. I so hope you are right, and it will be a good trade in hindsight. It's such a weird feeling though, in 50 years this is the first time I'm completely on my own, for everything. Without the stroke it would be bad enough, but now it's a scary, scary thought. ;) I'm sure glad to have my brother and SIL at least, and one friend (IRL I mean).

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  2. It's a relief to get help with practical stuff when you have physical limitations, so I can imagine how that aspect in itself feels daunting, even without losing the company of someone you felt close to. But you will heal, I feel sure of that.

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  3. Gut dass du wieder nach Wien kommst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Du wirst das schon packen!!! Du wirst sehen, jetzt wirds schön langsam wieder bergauf gehen.
    GLG, Geraldine

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    1. Yay! Danke Geraldine! Bin schon hier, seit heute! Kannst schon kommen! ;D Nur Spaß, ich weiß eh, dass du erst nach dem Weihnachtsmarkt Zeit hast. :) Ich hoffe, wir sehen uns bald! Wenn ich es schaffe (ziemlich chaotisch hier), möchte ich gerne beim Markt vorbeischauen. Alles Liebe, Uschi

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