balcony summer

Schmetterlingslavendel ("butterfly lavender" - lavendula stoechas)

i miss my garden

As if there weren't enough reasons for me to feel sad, here's one more. I resent my ex-husband for many things. One of them: his pulling out of our marriage took away my last chance of living in a house (old, old house, but still...) and owning a garden. It will be three years on December 3rd that he dropped the bomb on me, but I'm still not able to forgive him. I'm calling him names in my dreams, names I wouldn't say out loud when I'm awake. But maybe I should reconsider, maybe I should call him all the names I can think of when I'm awake. Maybe I should have done that from the beginning, maybe I could have prevented stroking that way.

I really want to lose the resentment, I just don't know how.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, I grow my strawberries on the balcony now.